Nurture

Nurture/Nourishment

See the exercises, and example for more information.

The world is not an easy place, never was, and each day it becomes more complex, noisy, uncertain and less secure. To navigate intelligently we must learn to nurture ourselves and others with whom we transact business. We have little control over the rattle of external events. In fact, it works the other way round. We can make the external excellent and pleasant by cultivating happiness and serenity within.

The practice can begin with yourself and others simultaneously and on three levels: physical, mental, and spiritual.

The Body: As many of the world's great shamans, medicine men, yogis, and others of extraordinary powers (including the best negotiators) know, the body is an exquisitely sensitive receptor. When your body is at ease, responsive and alive, you can pick up the "tones" in the perturbations of other people's actions. A glance, a deflection of the voice, a change in breathing will register first in your body, and when the body is fine-tuned, you can decipher the meaning of the signal.

How to Nourish the Body

The key here is balance and joy.

Eat wholesome foods in moderation and with awareness and gratitude. (Physical abuse by drinking, gluttony or by eating artificial things is not nourishment.)
Sleep well.
Exercise regularly in ways that extend and tone the muscles, joints, and ligaments. It is unnecessary to be a task master or an Indian ascetic. The key is to prepare the body in the best way possible for action. You want the body to become an ally and a friend. (See tutorial)

How To Nourish the Mind and Spirit

By nurturing the body, you also nurture your mind and spirit. They are aspects of each other. There are also special things you can do to nourish the mind and spirit in order to make your inner world a good and pleasant place.

Steadiness will do it.
Presence will always do it, since when you are fully present all past and future worries are washed away.
Focusing on one thing at a time will do it.
Cultivating a sense of ease will do it. Because when your mind and spirit are at ease, you will detect the timing, sequence, and unique rhythm of things.

When you practice in this way you will start to love your life again and you will connect to your integrity. And then the universe will nourish you. (See the tutorial).

Opponents and Other Players

Nuturing, pain, need and discovery run together. If your opponents are in pain, you should consider prudently nourishing them, because if their pain is too great, they will become unable to make the discoveries you seek of them. When you nurture effectively, your opponents will relax, drop their guard, and become available to you. If an opponent is aggressively critical, nurturing may induce more civilized behavior. (The Bible counsels, "A soft word turneth away wrath.") (But note that in some cases mirroring your opponents' aggressiveness may be the most effective response.) Nurturing will encourage the better parts of your opponents' nature to come forward. Remember, it is in your interest to increase another player's integrity, especially that of your opponents.

One powerful way to nuture your opponents is to be "not okay on purpose." This is called the "low stance." The low stance is based on a principle of human nature that says most people (not enlightened beings of which there an awfully small number) feel not quite okay when something good happens to someone else. Even when congratulating a friend, you will hear in their voice a note of sadness which says, "Why not me?" Most people will feel just a little bit better about themselves when they hear about another person's misfortune. Even when commiserating with a friend, you will hear in their voice a touch of sadness that says, "At least it is not I!" The low stance understands these things and therefore intentionally understates, even deprecates one's own position, in order to make another party feel good.

Several beneficial results are immediately accomplished by this means:

Your opponents will relax, feel comfortable and drop their guard.
Your opponents will be better able to deal with pain and not fall into need.
Your opponents will be better able to discern the merits of your proposal.
By not being afraid of looking foolish, being wrong, or being not okay, instantly you will:
strengthen your Will.
enhance your ability to hold integrity in the face of pain.
improve your concentration.
improve your ability to listen.
increase your capacity to adjust intelligently (trainability) because you have less need to hold on.
increase all other powers associated with a developing integrity.