Need Tutorial

Tutorial - Need

The purpose of the practice of integrity is to become independent of the field -- the field of our vexations, disappointed expectations and meaningless advantages. Our purpose is to become free.

We shackle ourselves to the field by our needs. Yet what very few things in this world do we truly need? -- O2, food, shelter, water, sleep--not much else. Our needs demand of us in so many subtle ways -- to win this race, to close that deal, to respond to this demand -- "If I do not have you, I will surely die!" they say to us. It is one of life's great delusions.

Step 1

The first step is to understand some of the ways need reveals itself. For example:

In fear and panic and a sense of catastrophe.
By a propensity to assume, presume, consume.
By lack of clarity.
By an unwillingness to exercise the Will.
In a failure to hold the container -- i.e., by spilling the emotions, or dumping critical information before a presentation.
In language, "I need . . ., I must . . ., I cannot do without."
In a fear of being wrong.
By an insistence on being right.
By a fear of 'no.'
By an unwillingness to exercise 'no.'
By a failure to nurture.
In telling instead of asking.
In a failure to listen and to hear.
In a lack of ease.
In a relentless gloominess and pessimism, a refusal to celebrate, a reluctance to pass the joys of victory and success onward to those who are less fortunate.

Step 2

What triggers need?

Sickness or deep fatigue.
Disappointment or frustrated expectations.
Financial loss or a fear of such a loss.
Sudden financial gain, which can quickly lead to arrogance.
Success of another, which engenders envy.
Daily toil and deadening routine that robs the soul of joy.

Step 3

The best way to handle need is by the exercise of the Will. Here are 10 immediate ways to regain control.

Make any decision or take any action based on your mission.
Work on clarifying and refining your mission.
Drop an important assumption or expectation.
Exercise the veto ('no').
Invite the veto ('no').
Practice Blank Slate and the Empty Mind.
Ask rather than tell.
Return to their pain.
Nourish your opponent (nourish yourself).
Pay forward.

You will lose control if you submit to need and compromise your integrity. You instantly regain control when you reclaim integrity.